Do You Know How It Feels To Be Truly Exhausted... I Do.

The last week has been filled with a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows. It seemed like my entire life was thrown into upheaval. I couldn't even begin to keep up on all the housework. My bathrooms hadn't been cleaned in two weeks. (Don't worry that's been remedied) My child who usually sleeps like a champ was giving me the worst time when it came to bedtime and sleeping. I was exhausted, worn out and stressed to say the least. The low point of my week was when Shayla decided that sleep was optional between the hours of 1 am and 5 am. I am not a nice Mommy when she thinks the middle of the night is play time.

I felt selfish. Wanting to quit already. Thinking to myself if all this strain and stress was really worth it? Was I doing more harm to this boy than I could do good? I was constantly on the brink of tears. Stressed beyond belief. (The nice thing is that I lose my appetite when I'm stressed and therefore lost 5 lbs last week.) I joked around with countless people that this is the way to do childbirth. Instead of gaining 25 lbs (in my case 50) in pregnancy you LOSE weight. And it's still considered healthy. All joking aside, I was done.

Thankfully we have Sundays. So many people put their arms around me at church and just told me it would be alright. I was given a blessing by Jon and some of our priesthood leaders. During it I was wishing that Heavenly Father would tell me it was ok to quit. He didn't. What a rough transition this has been. But I keep clinging to the hope that we will make a real difference in Dallin's life. That he will feel loved and be able to be his true potential because he came to live in our home.

 It's a good thing I'm writing this tonight instead of last week. It's been hard. I would be lying if I told everyone anything different. This is one of the hardest things I have done in my life. It's also one of the most important. I was reminded again this evening why I'm doing this when he snuck downstairs to give me one last hug and tell me he loves me. I need to cling to these great, tender moments and hope they can get me through all the hard ones.

First Day of School

If you had asked me two weeks ago what I would be doing this fall the last thing I would have said was taking a child to school! Besides the fact that our school district is wretched to deal with, Dallin's teacher seems very nice and I'm so happy that he is in such a tenderhearted woman's class.

Here is my proud little second grader!

Shayla was so excited about all of the festivities that she insisted on getting her picture taken as well.

And also wanted a picture of the two of them together. She is so excited about this new brother!

She was so sad when we dropped him off at his classroom that she pulled my hand and cried trying to get me to go back and get him. Poor girl. Didn't want to lose the brother she just barely got. Or maybe she just didn't want to have to spend the time alone with stinky old Mom. And I was worried that she would feel cheated by  not having as much Mommy time. Silly me.

Surprises

A lot has happened in our life the last week. We've decided to add another child to our family... but not the usual way. My oldest sister suffers from Bi-polar and a few other mental illnesses. She has a son, Dallin, who is 8 and has been living with her. On Saturday she realized that she couldn't care for him anymore and asked Jon and I to adopt him. We, of course, agreed and have been in a whirlwind of preparations since. (As I type this Jon is putting together a dresser for him.)

So we are about to become the parents of a talented, sweet, smart little boy. I have had a mixture of feelings as we have been going through this. Relief that he will be somewhere safe, overwhelmed, mainly overwhelmed, upset, stressed, torn, selfish, excitement. I've asked myself a lot of questions. How will I be a cubscout mom? Can I really be the mother of an 8 year old? How do I best teach him the gospel? How can I make this transition as smooth as possible, both for him and the rest of us?

Many of these questions I don't have an answer to. All I know is that there is a little boy who needs love and guidance. We're excited for this new adventure. He leaves with my Dad tomorrow and will be arriving on Sunday afternoon.

It amazes me how fast life can change, and how little you know about what Heavenly Father has in store for you. I'm scared and excited. It's almost like we went from finding out we were pregnant to giving birth to an eight year old in the space of a week. We never know what is in store for us and it can change faster than a blink of an eye.

Double House

This conversation actually took place a few weeks ago but I had to document it because it was hilarious.

It took place between me and this little girl. The one with the iron, Kate.

I had taken Shayla inside during her party to change her out of her swimsuit. Kate decided she must come with us and what with my being such a big push over I picked her up in my other arm and brought her with me. I was changing Shay when Kate looked at me very solemnly and said, "Kate's Double house"

I was unbelievably confused. Did she just say double? Does she even know what double means? So I asked the only logical question. "What??"

K: Kate's double house
Me: Kate's double house? (still not convinced I understood what she was saying)
Kate nodding ever so seriously and me still as confused as ever.
At that point she looked at me and explained: "Kate's house too"

Oh yes little Kate, you know you are always welcome here. It can be your double house.

I related this story to her Mom when we got back to the party, much to both of our amusement. Kids say the darnedest things...

Movies!!!

Today I took Shay to the movie theater for the first time ever. My friend Lenessa emailed a bunch of us to see if we wanted to go to the cheap theaters here. It was $2 Tuesday, I figured for $2 if it was a total disaster it wouldn't really matter all that much. Good thing she LOVED it!!!

I don't know how much the people around us loved hearing her belly laugh every time a penguin ran into a wall (We saw "Mr. Poppers Penguins") or came on screen, or slid on their belly. Or when she would narrate what was going on....

This Mommy loved it though! Can you believe this picture was taken after the movie??? I wanted to document this trip and thought there was  no way I would get any pictures because I forgot to take any before the movie.

Little Genny found a "penguin nest" and was so excited! How adorable is that??

Maisie was quite happy to finish off her popcorn while the other two ran around and the Moms chatted after the flick.

All together! Can you believe they all cooperated while taking a picture? I think it may have been a minor miracle.

Bottom line I think this needs to be a more regular activity. (Particularly when it's only $2) I guess this is what I do on days that we actually make it out of our pajamas. ;)

Someone turned 2...

So it may have happened 2 weeks ago but here are some highlights from her friend party...

This picture was actually taken after all the fun... Pretty adorable if you ask me.
We had some friends over for a little swim party for Shay. It was a little cooler than I had anticipated so we brought out all of the fun toys she scored for her birthday and everyone ate to their hearts content while the kids ran around in the back pool area.

We had a lot of fun. These three little cuties decided to pick some flowers. One of Shay's favorite past times, much to the chagrin of our gardener.

One of the favorite toys, and most coveted by all the kids was the iron and ironing board that Shay got from one of her BFF's, Kate. Sara is actually doing some toddler conflict resolution. It seems to be a common theme when you have this many little ones together.

Shayla ate two cupcakes. Just look at that face, how could you doubt that she thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact I think she may have been asking for more. I also think that cupcakes may have been her dinner that night. You didn't hear it from me though...

It was so fun celebrating her birthday this year. She really GOT what was going on and thoroughly enjoyed the whole being spoiled process. I realized that I won't be able to go Christmas shopping with her this year though. Which may be tricky since it's the "busy" season of Jon's work. (I just want to know when his busy season will end. Why yes I am writing this on a day when I'm not expecting him to come home. Why do you ask?)

Pajama Day!!

I declared today Pajama day in the Laudie home and neither Shay nor I got out of our pajamas. In fact after her bath tonight she just changed from one pajama to another.

I woke up this morning really tired with a little bit of a sore throat. We spent the morning cuddling and watching cartoons while mommy napped and tried to catch up on the sleep I didn't get last night. Don't you hate it when you have a sore throat but you can't decide if your just thirsty or if it's actually sore and it keeps you up at night because you never get around to doing anything about it? Well at 7am a few ibuprofens later I was feeling ready to sleep for a few hours. The only problem was my 2 year old who needed attention.

After cat napping for a few hours I was feeling great. But decided it's nice to have a pajama day every once in awhile and not go anywhere. It also made me realize I'm a much better Mom when I'm sick.

Let me explain: When I'm feeling well we spend our days going to the park, swimming, having play dates, going to Happy Hollow and running errands. When I am home I clean.

So today we read books. We colored. We did puzzles together. We played games that Shayla made up. We laughed and giggled together. She told me stories about what was happening in the books we were reading, especially if there was a "yum-yum" in it. (Any food) She then would pretend to eat the yum-yums. We sang songs. We danced. And she had my undivided attention.

Maybe I should declare pajama days more often...