It's Ok, I Don't Have To.

That is what Lola said to me tonight when I said that she was leaving us. "It's ok, I don't have to."

That was also the point where her Mom and I lost it. I hope that none of my other friends get offended but tonight I am feeling sad. The first friend I met here is moving to Michigan. It hasn't helped that Shayla has woken up asking for "Wowa" the last few days. It may have something to do with the fact that we spent every waking moment with them the last week. Yes that's even more than usual. How do you explain to a 2 year old that one of her best friends and her second Mom are gone.(Shay calls her Mom-mom) They no longer live 2 doors down. If you go and knock someone else will open the door.

Carrie is the reason I didn't jump on a plane back to Utah the first day I arrived in California. We've laughed since that day about how she chased me down in the parking lot and "made" me be her friend. What a blessing it has been for both of us. You can even read that story here. Carrie is the reason Shayla still has a front tooth. She has been my pediatrician on call for the last year. She and I have been each others listening ears and been able to give each other advice and sympathy. We've walked to the park with each other multiple times a week for the last year. We've made countless memories and the loss of their presence will definitely be felt for a long time.

I think the saddest part of their leaving for me is that they aren't family. We have no reason to go to Michigan and they have no reason to come here. There isn't the expectation that we will see each other on a regular basis. No family reunions, Christmas or Thanksgiving where we will meet up. We have plans to go and see them, and they've talked about coming back out here. But there are no guarantees.

So tonight I'm crying as I say goodbye to them. If only they "didn't have to".